"Wait, Whose Penis?"

A Comedic Drama in Three Acts

Based on a TRUE STORY

Act I, the doctor's office.

Doctor:  I think you should go with the IUD as we discussed earlier.

Wifey:  Yes, I think so, it's just that we're concerned that the stiff cords on the device might poke the tip of my husband's penis and make sex uncomfortable. 

Doctor:  Oh, I'm glad you brought that up. I will trim the cords so that your husband's penis can't possibly reach them. I can do it right now if  you like.

Wifey:  Ok, great. Let's do that.

Act II, at home in bed.

Hubby:  Oh ... oh, this feels so good.

Wifey:  Remember, you have to tell me if you feel the cords poking you at all.

Hubby: Oh ... no, no ... not at all ... I'm gonna cum.

Wifey: Oh no ... remember honey, you can't cum inside me.

Hubby: What? Why not?

Wifey: I have a date with T next week. Don't mess inside me ... mess on my leg like we talked about, ok?

Hubby: But ... I thought that's why we went to the doctor ... ugh, I'm losing it now.

Wifey: Aw, don't worry honey. I'll fix it ... but remember, don't cum in me. I wanna keep my pussy nice and fresh for T next week. Just think about him getting all up into me with that sweet cock of his. Only T is allowed to cum in me for now. It's his privilege for the next 2 weeks.

Hubby:  Oh god ... I'm cumming.

Wifey: That's it, Sweetie. Squirt right here on my leg. That's right. Good boy!

Act III, a month later at the doctor's office again

Doctor: So ... how is the IUD working out for you.

Wifey: <Looks directly into Hubby's eyes> Well, actually, the cords are poking the head of my husbands penis and interfering with sex a little bit.

Hubby:  <look of confusion and shock, face and ears begin to burn, turn bright red>

Doctor:  Really? <looks at Hubby> Wow, impressive. I didn't think that was at all possible. Well, you know what, if you can stick around for about half an hour, I can fix that right here, today.

Wifey: Can you? Oh, that would be great. Yeah, let's do that.

<Hubby, Wifey waiting alone and talking>

Hubby: So ... I guess on your date with T he complained about the cords poking him?

Wifey: <gently caresses Hubby's hand and nods>

Hubby:  But I thought you said he was about the same size as me. How could he ... I don't get it.

Wifey: Well, when I told him how I made you cum on my leg to keep my pussy clean for him, I guess he got really excited and all of a sudden he grew bigger than I had seen before. We talked about maybe keeping my pussy reserved only for him. He got so hard and he got all up deep inside me with his business ... it felt amazing ... it felt like he was up in my uterus. And when he came it was SO MUCH and so deep I thought it was gonna ...

Hubby:  Ok ok ... yeah, I get it. It's just ... the doctor initially said there was no way it could interfere with sex. His cock must be huge. How can I compete with someone who's hung like that?

Wifey: Well, this isn't a competition. I don't want you to feel rivalry with him. You and he have different roles. You're my husband and I love you. I care about and respect you. You're my partner and I want us to be together forever. And it's SO sweet how you squirt in my hand or on my leg whenever I want.

Hubby: And him? Do you love him?

Wifey: <laughing> Nooo, silly. He just gets all up in my pussy and fucks my brains out. That's all. He just fucks me like you can't believe. Really, this isn't a competition ... there's no competition.

Hubby: Ok, yeah, I get it. He's better in bed. So when we had sex last time ... was that just a trial run? A test to see how it would feel?

Wifey: Well ... apparently it wasn't a very good test, was it?

Hubby: So ... am I paying for a procedure so that my wife's boyfriend can enjoy her already-fantastic pussy even more? So it's just PERFECT for him?

Wifey: <leaning in to hug Hubby> Thank you, Sweetie. You're the best.

The End

The Real Story

Without giving me a heads up, my wife told her OB/GYN right in front of me that the strings from her IUD were poking the tip of my penis and could she trim then shorter. The same doctor had promised that they would never get in the way during sex. So she was really impressed that my penis could reach up that far and she actually looked at me and said, “Wow, impressive.” But here’s the punchline, some weeks before, I had told my wife that I couldn’t feel the strings from her IUD. So it was obvious to me that she was talking about her boyfriend’s cock and not mine. Obviously her boyfriend’s cock is bigger than mine and he’s getting up into her deeper than I ever could. This was the first time she had let that be known to me … and this is how she chose to inform me — in front of her doctor. (I loved it, actually.)

I suddenly felt dizzy, my face was burning hot and I got tunnel-vision for a minute. I’m sure the doctor just thought I was a little embarrassed to have my penis mentioned in the conversation, but she had no idea what was actually going on. My wife just gave me an evil smirk as she could see from my face that she had really pushed a huge red button.