My Fishing Buddy (Chapt. 3)
My Fishing Buddy (Chapt. 3)
June 10, 2025:
I climbed in to Mark's truck and tried to give him the silent treatment. I felt like I was supposed to be angry with him and I was angry with him, but there were so many other emotions (including no small dose of arousal) it was a very confusing situation. And he was such a fun guy to hang out with -- it was very difficult to be angry at him.
"Hey bro, what's up? How's it going? Man, I've been waiting for this outing all week."
"Yeah," I replied with one word.
"Hey so I guess your wife told you I asked her out on a date, huh?"
"Yeah, she told me."
"Are you angry about it? C'mon, you're not really angry," Mark tried to cajole me. "C'mon, be honest."
"Dude, you're trying to date my wife," I responded angrily. But somehow I couldn't be angry at him -- if felt like I was just going through the motions -- playing a role.
Mark laughed, "C'mon, you're not actually angry. We both know you're enjoying this. But I understand you think you're supposed to be angry. Don't worry, this is going to be the most fun you've ever had."
"How can I not be angry. You're trying to steal my wife from me."
"Whoa, snapper! No, no, no," Mark replied, "No one is stealing anyone's wife. She loves you, man. It's just she wants to go on dates with me and have fun. I've know that since the first moment we met."
"What?! She didn't want to go out with you until you talked her into it yesterday. She wanted to tell you off in person, that's the only reason she had you come by."
"Oh no ... no, no, no," he insisted, "I've known since the first time you introduced us that she wanted me to take her out and I've known for about a month now that you also wanted that."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "What are you talking about?! Why would I want you to date my wife?!"
"Shhhh, it's OK. You don't need to explain it. We're going to make it fun for you. I promise."
I was silent for a long time as we drove to the pond. I was sulking. But somehow, Mark was cheerful and confident. "How does he get away with this?" I wondered to myself. "How does he get to date my wife and I still go fishing with him and we're still friends?" I wondered. "Why can't I be angry at him?" I wondered.
Mark finally broke the silence as we rolled into the parking lot near the pond. "Let me ask you one question," he asked with a smirk, "When your wife told you she agreed to go on a date with me, did your penis get hard?"
"No, my penis didn't get hard! What kind of question is that!? Why would my penis get hard when my wife is telling me she's going on a date with another guy?!" I replied with mock indignation.
"Well, it's just that while we were driving here, I got this text message from your wife. She said she checked and your penis was rock hard after she told you about me and her going on a date -- just like I said it would be."
"What!? You're texting with my wife? About penises!?" I could barely keep up the charade of indignation. I was so aroused by the entire situation, I couldn't believe it. Except that I had fantasized about it for a long time.
Mark showed me the text. I was busted. But, as Mark pointed out, her exact words were "His little penis was rock hard after I told him we'd be dating."
I didn't know what to do. There was a flurry of overwhelming emotions swirling in my brain. It felt unfair that the two of them were using my penis against me. I felt angry that my penis had betrayed me. I mean, all guys are betrayed by their penis their entire lives -- it gets hard at the worst moments. But this took penis betrayal to a whole other level.
I plopped down on a bench next to where he had parked the truck and just sunk my face into my hands. But I couldn't cry. I wasn't even close to crying. I was actually extremely aroused and among the flurry of feelings and thoughts swirling in my head were images of Mark making love to my wife.
Mark took his hand and messed up my hair, as mature guys do to young boys. "Hey c'mon," he said, "Don't be mad or sad. This is going to be really fun for you. I promise."
And somehow, I began to believe him.
Later as we paddled the canoe out across the pond, Mark broke the silence once again, "Hey man, just so we're clear about something. When I said this is going to be really fun for you ... it's going to be a lot more fun for me." His joke caught me off guard and I laughed out loud.
That was officially the end of me being angry or sad about Mark dating my wife. My laughter had also betrayed me. I could be jealous, sad, aroused, confused, or scared. But I no longer had any credibility at acting angry.
I know that because Mark told me.
"So now that you're done pretending to be angry," Mark started a new conversation. "I was thinking you should take your wife shopping. You know, for some new shoes, clothes -- something sexy but dignified. Women like strappy heels for dates, don't they?"
"Wait, so you want me to take my wife out shopping for sexy clothes for your date with her?" I asked in a tone of protest.
"Yeah, I think it would be a good way to keep you busy instead of sitting around sulking. Oh, and don't forget to stop in at Victoria's Secret. Women need to feel sexy inside and out when they go on a date. It helps them feel confident. And they like to have new panties and matching bras when they start a new relationship -- not the same old stuff they wore for that other guy."
"Wait, now you're talking about having a relationship with my wife. You want me to buy lingerie for her ... for you to enjoy on her?" I contested.
"Well, that's the best case scenario. I mean, she may not like me, but ideally we keep dating and have a relationship."
"Dude, hold on, what are you going to do to my wife? What are you planning."
"Well, I certainly am not going to do anything she doesn't want me to do. But I have a question for you. How much do you want to know? How much do you want to hear about?"
"I don't want to hear about any of this!" I said loudly, my voice echoing around the quiet pond. Some geese a few yards away began complaining loudly. But I did want to hear about it. I wanted to hear every detail.
"Well," said Mark, "I know that's not true. You're going to want to hear every detail. And you're my friend, so I want to keep you in the loop. But it wouldn't be right to date a nice lady like your wife and then go talk about it with other guys. On the other hand, she IS your wife, so .... Maybe let's let her decide how much information to share."
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